With Valentine’s Day approaching, it seemed like a great time to tackle some writing tips for singles and couples. Take a look at the tips for writing your own dating profile and also, how to make your significant other fall in love with you all over again using written words. It’s easier than you may think.
Get this: about 20 million people visit online dating sites at least once a month. In this age of online everything, it’s natural that dating has shifted to the online world as well. As we approach Valentine’s Day, I wanted to throw out some tips for spicing up your dating profile.
Let me share this with you, you are a brand. Whether you’re on Facebook, Twitter or Match.com, you are marketing yourself and your image. Think about that as you’re answering profile questions. You must be honest about yourself, but highlight the great parts about you.
Step 1 – Freewriting – just sit down and download what you’re thinking right on to paper, no matter what random thoughts come to mind.
Step 2 – Organize – put your thoughts in order and edit what you have on your paper. You may even start a new document and just pull from the document with all of your random thoughts. Do anything you can to help yourself put thoughts into order.
Step 3 – Walk Away – Once you have a few questions, or all of the questions, where you’d like them to be, take a walk, go get some coffee. Take your mind off of what you’re doing so you can come back with a fresh perspective.
Step 4 – Edit – After your break of a few hours or at most, a day, revisit what you’ve written. Read it through the first time for grammar and typos. Read it through a second time from the perspective of a potential match.
Look for things that may push away a potential match. Maybe you love wine and in your profile you say something about not wanting to date with someone who drinks beer. I get it, you want to have a lot in common, but consider this: what if that person just hasn’t tasted wine, or thinks they don’t like it because they haven’t been educated in the subject. They may be intimidated by the idea of ordering or shopping for wine, so they’ve stuck in their comfort zone. My advice would be to say that you love wine, but don’t alienate a potential match unless you are really against beer. Make sense?
Keep it positive – don’t beat yourself up on your profile, be confident in who you are and what you have to offer.
Open minded – don’t rule people out with what you’re writing – (see above paragraph)
Go to a deeper level – answer the questions and then when you’re editing, see if there’s more you can say.
Update your profile as you feel it’s needed
Photos – have some friends over for a gathering and give your camera to the most talented and trustworthy friend. Ask them to take a few candid shots of you throughout the gathering. Do this a few times and you’ll have a great collection of photos.
The national trend is to hire a writer to write your dating profile. I was recently hired to write a dating profile and guess what, the guy got a date two weeks later. Sometimes it just helps to have another set of eyes on what you’ve written, or someone who can interview you and help you market the great points of yourself. This option is not for everyone, but you should have someone help edit for you – have one of your friends help edit your profile.
The same goes for photographs. If you don’t have many photos of yourself, hire a professional photographer to shoot photos of you in your environment. Please avoid profile pictures that you have taken of yourself. Trust me.
Many people will admit that the tradition of Valentine’s Day has gotten out of hand. So purchase whatever you choose: chocolate, other candy, flowers and stuffed tokens of love. However, Cupid advises NOT to skip the card.
My grandpa once said that writing a card is a waste of time…for the person writing it, but it means the world to the person who receives it.
Keep in mind that you don’t have to shell out a ton of cash for a card. Remember the good old days in elementary school when Valentine’s were made out of red construction paper and paper doilies? Classic. Add a thoughtful message using a fine point Sharpie and you’re golden.
Here’s the thing, if you do buy a card from a store, the message inside is not enough. No matter what the card conveys, take the time to write something thoughtful to your loved one. For some, it may be difficult to express yourself and others may be persons of few words. Start small: write a sentence or two and sign your name. No one says it has to be a novel, but it needs to be in your own handwriting and come from the heart. Most people don’t understand the impact that a few personalized words can have. Try it.
If you do feel inspired to write more, your Valentine will be touched, especially if it’s out of character for you. Say what you haven’t said in months, or what you say every day, the message is up to you.
Talk about the great <insert timeline here> you’ve spent together.
Tell your partner how they make you a better person.
Tell your significant other your favorite part of them.
List your favorite parts of the last year.
Tell them what plans you have with them, moving forward.
Tell the person how beautiful/handsome they are.
Remember, whatever you write needs to be sincere and from the heart. I put a lot of focus on significant others, but also express yourself to other family members and loved ones. Bring back the tradition of Valentine’s Day cards and spread the love!
Oh, and let me know how it goes.